What to Write on a Card for a Long Lost Friend

Resume a Friendship With a Long Lost Friend

You used to be friends, great friends. You never meant to lose touch with him or her. But life got in the way, and weeks turned into months, or maybe years. How can you go back, find your friend, and re-establish contact, resume your friendship, or is it even possible? It is possible, but sometimes it requires a little time and patience.source:wikihow.com

How to Resume a Friendship With a Long Lost Friend

Find your friend. First you have to locate your friend if you've lost touch. Perhaps s/he has moved back home after graduating from college, and is in a different state. Think hard about your friend, and use every detail you can remember to track him or her down. The internet is a wonderful resource – if you can remember a middle name or initial, that's a good start. If you can remember what state s/he was from, start there – it may cost a few dollars.

Make contact. It's the hardest part. Once you have contact information, and you're reasonably sure it's the right person, reach out. This is easier if you have a mailing address, e-mail account, or a phone number. Depending on the way you left things, you may want to choose based on the tone of your last parting.

Drifted Away: If you just drifted apart, try the most direct way to reach out. Use the phone number or email. Be sure you send any email with a Delivery Confirmation – one that sends you a notice when your email is received. If you never get a confirmation, there's a good chance the email address is no good, and you'll have to go to Plan B – the phone.

Promised To Write: Use email. Send a brief note reminding your friend of who you are and asking if you've reached the right person. Try something like: "I was on a friend-finding website and saw your name. I want to make sure I got the right person – we were on the swim team together, is that you? If it is, I just want you to know seeing your name made me instantly feel so guilty and rotten that we lost touch – email me back so I know it's you! I'd love to catch up when you have a chance!" Keep it light and fun, and remember – don't beat yourself up too much: your friend didn't stay in touch with you either! Doesn't mean s/he doesn't care – just the same as you.

Parted Badly: You had a falling out and parted on bad terms, but you now wish you could patch things up. This one's a little trickier, but if you are willing to absolve your friend of any blame for what happened, fall on your sword and accept any lingering blame on yourself, and leave the past behind, your chances of success are good. Write a snail-mail letter first, to let any awkwardness be private: "Dear Siobhan: I can't tell you how many times I've thought of you over the years. I've gone over our last argument a million times in my mind, and I am so sorry for everything that went wrong. I've never been able to leave you behind, even though we parted so badly, and I've regretted it every single time I've thought about it. You meant so much to me, and were such an important, wonderful friend, I wonder if there isn't some way to let bygones be bygones? I miss you, I love you, and I want you back – please call me or email me at 555-555-5555 / [email protected] I hope you can forgive and forget – I have, and all I care about is seeing you again. Love, XYZ."

Call him or her. Give your letter or email at least a week after delivery to marinate, especially if your parting was not good. If you've heard nothing by 10 days later, try phoning. In the case of a bad last goodbye, you probably will do best to call at a time your friend is not going to be home. You can then leave a jovial, brief voice message, which will hopefully convince your friend that you are serious about making contact again, and prompt him or her to call you. Suggestion: "Hey, this is Harriet Scott, and I'm looking for Siobhan. Vahn – it's me, Harry! I hope I got the right number – if not, please have someone call me at 555-555-5555. If I don't hear back that this is a wrong number, I'll probably just keep on bugging someone, so please do let me know if I have NOT reached Siobhan. But if I have. Siobhan, I miss you, please call me! Kay, bye. 555-555-5555! Call!" It's kind of funny, it identifies you, and the party you're trying to reach, leaves your number at the beginning, and at the end. This is important – if they miss it both times, they can play your message back, knowing your number is right at the front and they won't have to re-listen to your entire rambling. Of course, if you later get a message saying that you have not reached the right party, you have to start from scratch to find your friend again.

Allow time for your friend to believe in your friendship again. After a long absence, it is hard for people to reattach because they've felt the pain of loss before. Sometimes, it takes a lot of effort on your part, and you may feel like you are the one working to restore your relationship all alone. That is the peril you face. Your friend may have a hard time trusting in your friendship – what if s/he resumes the relationship, only to see you check out again? Allow your friend time to believe in your steadfast love for him or her.

Connect often in the early part of the re-connect. Once you've made that first contact, hopefully things will get easier. Some friendships resume easily, as if there was never a break. Some take work, and you may sense that your friend is guarded when you speak, not telling you everything. That's okay. Especially if this is the case (a guarded friend), connect often. Call once a week – find out what's a good time when he or she can chat for a little while. If s/he has 10 minutes, chat for 10 minutes. If s/he has an hour, chat for an hour. Make time to re-establish the confidence you once had in each other.

Make contact regularly. Get into a rhythm you can both trust as the weeks and months go on. Email just to say you were thinking of him or her, with some little joke or something. Call every month, at least. Get together if you live nearby. Friend him or her on your favorite social networking site (MySpace, Facebook, etc.), and post recent pictures. Sharing your lives regularly will keep your friendship vital once you've found one another again.

Never hesitate to bring up and face problems you once had – but do not argue about those problems.

Never hesitate to let problems from the past remain in the past. Once you've acknowledged them and talked about them a little, let them go.

Go to a movie, go to coffee, go to an appointment together – whatever time your friend can make to spend with you, do it, no matter how awkward you may feel about it at first.

Act like everything is normal, fine, and wonderful. Soon, just going through the motions of feeling relaxed with your friend will help you really and truly feel relaxed and easy together again. It will take some time depending on the case.

Last Updated On August 28, 2018 By Letter Writing Leave a Comment

Friendships are what makes most of us alive, what makes us keep going. Having the ability to share with someone who is close to you, be able to share your secrets and also someone who you can always depend on. When you do not keep in touch frequently with your friend, the flames between you guys fade away and sometimes you do not know why this happens. When this does happen, you can write a letter of request to resume the friendship.

This enables you to reconnect with that lost pal of yours. So do not wait till the friendship ends completely, keep in touch and reconnect, and get your true friend back. Just keep in mind that being straightforward and pouring your heart out so that you give it that extra edge of being a unique friendship letter.

Table of Contents

Request To Resume Friendship Letter Writing Tips

When you have lost contact for a long period with a close friend, it seems as if you have lost them. So you need to write that perfect letter to resume the closeness and tightness of your friendship.

The tone of the letter can be an informal one as you are writing a letter to your friend.
Just write what you feel right.
Mention where your relationship with your friend went wrong and apologized if possible.
Thank him/her and tell that you want to reconnect with them after a long time.

Request To Resume Friendship Letter Template

Use our free Request To Resume Friendship Letter to help you get started. Simply download the .doc or pdf file and customize it. If you need additional help or more examples check out some of the sample letters below.

(Name of a friend)

Subject: __________ (write the subject of the letter)

I know that you are a bit angry with me regarding the misunderstanding that has been created between us. So I just thought of writing this letter to you to clear out the misunderstandings that have made us temporarily apart from each other. What has happened to our friendship? We used to be inseparable. But I do not want to lose our friendship because of silly reasons. I write to you so that we resume our friendship.

I was a bit afraid to talk to you on the face, that is why I have attempted to write a letter. I apologize if I have hurt you on the other day at the party. My intention was not to hurt you emotionally. I was a bit worried after you left and I could not apologize to you on that day. I feel sorry for my behavior, and it would be better if you accept my apologies.

I was frustrated that day due to pressure at the office, and I emptied my anger upon you. So, I am sorry for whatever I have done. I hope that all the misunderstanding is cleared.

If you still feel that you are not convinced, then arrange for a small meet at the café house. Please do give me a call after reading this letter.

You have always been there for me. I hope that the situation will change for the better. Please keep in touch, my friend.

Waiting for your reply,

Sample Letter

Winy,
Seena Towers,
Nairobi,
Kenya

Brenda Ondo
P.O. Box 62000-00200, Nairobi
Nairobi, Kenya

Subject: Requesting to resume the friendship.

I was frustrated that day due to pressure at the office, and I emptied my anger upon you. So, I am sorry for whatever I have done. I hope that all the misunderstanding is cleared.

If you still feel that you are not convinced, then arrange for a small meet at the café house. Please do give me a call after reading this letter.

I hope that the situation will change for the better. Please keep in touch, my friend.

Waiting for your reply.

Email Format

The following the Email format for a Request to Resume Friendship Letter.

To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Dear _ _ _ _ _ _ _,

I was frustrated that day due to pressure at the office, and I emptied my anger upon you. So, I am sorry for whatever I have done. I hope that all the misunderstanding is cleared.

If you still feel that you are not convinced, then arrange for a small meet at the café house. Please do give me a call after reading this letter.

Laughter, Tears and Everything in Between

To my long lost friend,

It's been awhile since we've talked and I supposed there are many reasons for you to disapprove about the way I'm addressing you. But, I hope you could bear with me and read on.

So, how are you? I saw a photo of you with a girl recently; you seem really fond of her. I don't know how you really feel about her but I wish you all the best in the future. You have no idea how much I've wonder how have you been. I've tried to muster all the courage I have to talk to you many times but I can never bring myself to face you without a sense of guilt and unreasonable fear.

I guess my guilt and fear were results of the way I ended our friendship; cold, hard and unbecoming of me. There are so many things I wish I had done differently in the past. I'm sorry I shut you out of my life when your only intention was to be my friend. If I hadn't been so intent on destroying my true feelings for you, we would have still be friends. I was so naive then to think that the only way to befriend you was to crush whatever infatuation I had towards you. And, when I couldn't crush whatever infatuation I had, I stopped befriending you because I thought that's the only way we could stay friends. But, what I did only caused us both more pain than it should. I was selfish. I know that now. And, you have every reason to despise me. If I had only been more patient; I do wish I understood the essence of time, of waiting and the importance of friendship.

Also, I'm sorry that I was so stubborn in my own ways. You tried to please me and make me happy more than one occasion; tried to make me smile, laugh, feel appreciated and loved. Yet, I threw it all in your face and got angry one too many times. I know it's too late to tell you this, but I'll say it anyways: you're such a persistent fellow when you were twelve. All the secret gift and incessant singing and boyish smiles; you have no idea how much they haunted and irritated me, constantly coming to live in my dreams almost every night for years. It's just too much to bear. With all the courage a silly teenager could possibly muster, I had to destroy that gift you gave me years ago: it was just too painful to stare. I'm sorry. I had to do it for reason as obscure to me as it is to you.

Still, I'll always remember you. Though I'm sorry for what I had done. I'm still not sorry for how I felt about you. It was because of those feelings that I became who I am today. You taught me to be patient, to be grateful, to trust, to understand, to appreciate and to love and be loved. You're a great friend to me; always had and always will be. I'm sorry it cost us both our friendship for me to grow and appreciate all these. I wish I'd realized it sooner. You will always stay in my prayers. I wish you ever happiness and love.

A girl you knew at a different time

How to Resume a Friendship With a Long Lost Friend

Short Story Friends – To my long lost friend…
Photo credit: kornrolla from morguefile.com

There were times when I can't even spend a single minute without you…

There were times where I trusted you more than anyone or anything in this world…

There were times where I even I looked up to you for each and everything…

There were times when I thought you were flawless both physically and characteristically…

There were times when I got jealous of the person whom you are going to marry…

There was a time when I thought you will beВ there with me tillВ my last breath…

It all changed when that devastating event happened. I lost everything which I valued the most during that time. The pain was immense. I assumed it was like hell because I lost everything at the same time. It took me a while to realise what the actual problemВ wasВ andВ why I was dying inside, but I finally did. It was not because I lost everything at the same time but you were not beside me to say everything will be okay.

Yeah the other things mattered too but this was the most devastating thing that could happen to me at that exact point. Every story has two sides and ours too was not an exception. We both were a fault at sometime.В I hoped as time moved on our friendship will mend itself but it didn't.

There was hatred growing inside me day by day whenВ I saw you smiling. I wished I could forgetВ you and everything you taught me. ButВ I couldn't though. As months passed by I was successful in ignoring you.В I started living my life myself making my own decisions not depending on anyone. I started to live by my values and principles which I liked.В I lived my life happily with my new friendsВ and acquaintances.

My life was like livingВ my dream and you started fading away from myВ thoughts. Even though I see you mostly everyday, there wasВ no hatred towards you because you wereВ vanished from my thoughts.В but that was until today, I heard from a friend that you were getting married which you used to say you never will, I thought I will notВ feel anythingВ for the news IВ heard because you were no longer in my life. But to my surprise I was happy, to be exact I was overwhelmed. my eyes started to water. I wished I could hug you and cry on your shoulders and say I was happy for you. But I couldn't.

I saw you in less than a minute and stood there just seeing you. I turned and walked away before you could see me. A smile was etched to my face. I realised one thing which I should have realised a long time ago. There is no end to a true friendship. We may not talk and exchange pleasantries and be with you all the time, but what we had was true. our friendship was true. And you may not realise it but I love you girl, you were one of the greatest things that happened to me in my life time. You taught me what friendship is and you and also taught me pain I have never experienced before. Thank you for everything my dear friend. What we had will never change.

Read more like this: by Author lonely_girl in category Friends with tag friend | friendship | Life | relation | smile

How to Resume a Friendship With a Long Lost Friend

Both adults and children often worry about the status of the friendships and relationships in their lives. Friends often give them some of their most cherished memories. Close friendships can result in romantic relationships and job offers. But often, there are conflicts that pop up and time constraints that prevent people from spending time with their friends.

Making friends is hard and keeping those friends is much harder. People often throw up their hands and have no idea what to do. However, keeping friends is not an impossible puzzle that nobody can do anything about.

Here are ten friendship tips you can take to keep friends and improve the quality of the friendships that you already have.

Stay in touch

People are busy. They are always spending time at their jobs, finishing chores around the house, or taking care of their families. One in three workers believe they do not have enough time to do all the things they want to do at home. These responsibilities often pile up and seem particularly important. The internet has made such communication ridiculously easy. One can send a tweet or a Facebook message in between checking work emails. They can send a text and reply to it later that day. Such efforts take only a few seconds but can be considerable to sustaining friends over time and distance.

See your friends

An online connection is only part of friendly communications, however. If possible, a busy person still needs to make room for significant connections. Within reason, they should set a goal to see another individual in person on a reasonable basis. Some friends try to meet up with each other either once per week or once per month. Not everyone can meet all of their friends that often. But even the most infrequent face-to-face meetings can help provide a close connection that is lacking in an all-digital friendship.

Prioritize the friendship

In order to make room for friends, individuals need to prioritize that friendship over other parts of their lives. They need to focus on the positives that friends bring to their lives. Studies show that having lasting friendships makes people happier and live longer. They are able to live with less stress and have better avenues for problem-solving. In order to keep those friends, you need to go the extra mile to show your friends that you care and that they are a priority in your life.

Give gifts

Small gifts and favors will help facilitate the friendships in your life. A favor given means that another one may be received in the near future. Favors and gifts also open up dialogue and help two people communicate more often. A favor or gift may serve another purpose as a litmus test. If you have bought your friend with means ten birthday gifts in a row and have received nothing back, you may need to evaluate whether or not that friend should be a priority for you.

Handle conflict carefully

Conflict is inevitable in a relationship as well as a friendship. Even the closest friendships involve some level of conflict. It should not be ignored or swept under the rug in every possible situation. Instead, you need to make sure that you fight quietly and fairly whenever you do fight with your friends. One serious mistake could lead to a lost friend and a brand new enemy.

Connect your friends and your significant other

You should never have your friends avoid or be kept secret from your significant other. They will hold a special place in your life that may be in conflict with that of your friends. If you bring your friends and your special someone together, you can learn how to balance all of these important relationships without having to choose one over the other.

Agree with your friends (every once in a while)

If your friend just keeps getting things wrong, you should strive to find common ground. Common ground is critical and keeps you from simply being a nag. While you need to be able to disagree with your friend, constantly asserting how right you are can end up torpedoing the friendship.

Use anger sparingly

Anger is one of the most frequently expressed emotions between friends. Some situations warrant an angry response. Even when you are angry at a friend, you should always try to curb your anger with your friends. This advice is especially true for those friends who cannot handle an angry person. They may respond to your anger by fleeing and removing you from their lives.

Be polite with criticism

Your friends will make mistakes. They may also want to know about those mistakes. This desire does not mean they also want their feelings hurt. Try to be as careful as possible when making such criticisms. Follow the golden rule and keep insulting language to a minimum.

How to Resume a Friendship With a Long Lost Friend

Treat family with caution

Family is always a third rail in friendships. Individuals want to be able to criticize their families but feel defensive at other people making similar criticisms. Make sure to become familiar with how your friends talk about families. The wisest thing to do when a friend is discussing family may be to simply nod along silently.

Conclusion

Not all friendships last more than a few years. You have to be ready to reevaluate your friendships, follow these friendship tips, and reject toxic people from your life. However, a sustaining friendship can provide comfort and happiness for decades. If you go the extra mile and show that you care, the right people will be excited to stay in and enrich your life.

How to Resume a Friendship With a Long Lost Friend

Original photo by: greyerbaby

Letter to a Long-Lost Friend is a personal letter of reminiscing of days gone by with a friend and the hope to bridge the unintended gap brought upon by time.

My dearest friend,

Looking through my old albums today, I saw pictures of us during our younger days. We were smiling, laughing actually with no cares, as if we held the world in our hands. Seeing those pictures transported me back to a time when no one can separate us, not even that cute boy who both caught our eyes and made our hearts flutter for a while.

We were above petty quarrels, jealousy, and insecurity. We were the team to beat everywhere we went. We were like blood sisters separated at birth who found our way back together by destiny.

We defended each other fiercely. It seemed no one can touch us and for a time nothing and nobody did…until we found ourselves entering the world of adulthood. This adult world was different. There were responsibilities, duties, and obligations to fulfill. It required us to make decisions, sometimes difficult ones.

We were supposed to be together forever but that wasn't meant to be. The day I left for another city to accept a job I have always wanted was devastating, knowing that you will not be there with me. You chose to stay to work because you followed your own heart as well.

For a number of years, we were able to exchange letters and call each other every once in a while to bridge the distance between us. Eventually, we both got married to the men of our dreams and had children. The last time I heard from you, you were preparing to settle for being a stay-at-home mother while I continued on my climb in the corporate ladder. The letters and calls got fewer until there was none. I cannot remember exactly when the communication between us stopped but it did.

I do know one thing though. We parted ways not because we fought or ceased to be friends. We simply got older and this just meant we had more responsibilities to attend to.

I thought of writing to you now since we are both in our advanced years, presumably with more time in our hands. Maybe it is time to resume our interrupted friendship. I miss you my friend and I hope to see you soon.

How to Resume a Friendship With a Long Lost Friend

A girlfriend I've known for 14 years has abruptly ended our friendship. She blast-emailed a photo of herself holding her new puppy and wrote a long paragraph about how "deformed" she looks because a cancerous spot was removed from her nostril.

I remember the surgery — I was supportive during it — but the wound has healed nicely and she looks the same as always to me.

I wrote back and said (basically), "You don't have to point out your imperfections. I'm sure I and all your other friends who got this email blast see you through the eyes of love."

To my astonishment, she instantly ended our long and dear friendship, claiming I told her to "shut up." I reviewed every word of that email and several subsequent apologetic emails and nowhere did I use that phrase, nor even intend it. I did not say it in my two "please forgive me" phone calls. I am hurt and surprised, and grieving our connection.

She said, "My father said that to me when I was 16. No one tells me to shut up. ever."

And so, my love for her has been sacrificed for a memory from when she was 16. which was 52 years ago.

Even though I feel a strong sense of loss, I know there are lessons I can learn from this.

This is what I see right now:

Apologies don't always make things better. Sometimes, we inadvertently re-open wounds we didn't even know the other person had — and pay the price. Treat people more gently. Some friendships are more fragile than others.

Respect someone's need to end a relationship. Once someone has announced they wish for no further contact, take them seriously. Some people are not the type to forgive, no matter how much one apologizes. I've apologized probably dozen times, to no avail. I may as well have done it only once, because she slammed the door in the first instant. Had I been less invested, I would have accepted her firm decision sadly but gracefully.

You may never know why. People who end relationships — friendships, romances, even marriages — often have reasons of their own. Those reasons may or may not have anything to do with the other person's actions. You may never know or understand the real reasons why the other person has made the decision. The reason given may or may not be the whole truth, nor even part of it.

People outgrow one another. How many marriages have ended because one or the other partner says, "We just grew apart." It is entirely likely that for whatever reason, one person may feel that someone else is no longer up to their standards. My friend Brad lost his best friend after 25 years when the friend became a Born Again Christian and decided Brad was a "bad influence." A girlfriend I knew long ago stopped being my friend when I had my first child and she was still in college, because she felt I was too "baby-focused." We reconnected a few times, after she'd had children, and she apologized, but things were never the same.

So how can we heal from the loss of a precious friendship?

I regret that I am forced to use this strategy again myself now, although I learned it long ago. I am working these steps as I mourn the loss of this friend. I know I will go back to this process when something triggers memories of her and do parts of it again, maybe several times. Each time the pain will lessen considerably until I look back on that friendship with only positive memories.

The 5-Step Lost Friendship Healing System

Accept that the decision is final. If you have apologized for anything you did and made it clear that you want the relationship to continue, and the other person refuses your offer, let go. You really don't have any other choice, and continuing to beg and plead is not only bothersome but in some situations could be seen as harassment. Sure, maybe someday, something will happen, but you will never be able to go back to "how it was" even if the person let you back into their life right now. It's like a broken piece of china — it will never be "good as new."

Write a letter you will never send. Start the letter very specifically: "Dear , I've thought of a few more things I want to tell you before I say goodbye. " Then tell him/her everything you want to say. It's better (for some reason!) if you write it out longhand. You will never show this letter to the person, so don't worry about niceties. Just pour your heart out. Tell them every happy memory, everything you put up with anyway, all their flaws, all their beautiful strengths, how you two met, what the friendship means to you — whatever you need to say. Let yourself rant, cry, feel. When you are all done, fold the letter and put it somewhere where you can see it again in 30 days.

Remove objects that trigger your pain. If you have photos around the house, take them down and put them somewhere out of sight for now. Don't destroy them. If you have gifts or mementos that remind you of that person, put those away, too. Tuck them into a box you can sort through at some future time, when your emotions are more level. At that point, you may want to give them away or throw them away. People often make rash decisions out of emotion.

Write a letter to yourself. Imagine you are your friend. Write a letter from your friend to yourself. Use your friend's way of speaking, and if at any point he or she gave you an explanation for why they ended the friendship, write that, too. At the end of this letter, write these words longhand, "I forgive you, . Although we cannot be friends anymore, I release you from guilt. I wish you a happy life from this moment forward." Even if your friend is not mature enough to ever write those words, write them to yourself — by hand. Now sign the letter in your former friend's name. Put it with the letter you wrote to your friend.

Step Five:

Check in with yourself. When we grieve something, we tend to forget we ever felt happy, and sometimes doubt we ever will again. "I'll never find a friend like that!" and "I miss her so much every day!" are common thoughts. But 30 days after you completed the steps above, pull out those letters and read them. Do it again 6 and 12 months later. Each time, you'll be surprised. You'll feel emotion, sure, if the loss is still fresh. But you will also be amazed at how much you've healed. You may have even started looking for new "applicants" for the open friendship position in your life. You may have found new ways to enjoy your life without your friend, taken up new activities or hobbies or interests. These are all healthy signs, like green sprouts coming out of the soil, indicating growth and good things coming.

This five-step process will help you get on the right path to healing from the loss of a friendship. I know it's already helping me.

Wendy Keller is an author and speaker. Her work is dedicated to helping human beings handle the heartbreaks and sadness of life and emerge healthier and stronger. To find more inspiring blogs and helpful content, click here.

Moving on Emotionally From a Friend

How to Resume a Friendship With a Long Lost Friend

One reason people have a hard time letting a failed friendship go is that they feel the need for closure, or something that will allow them to fully let go of the relationship. Breakups seem incomplete when you can't say what you want to say or feel like you could try again. But the hard reality is that when a friendship is done, it doesn't matter if you were ready for it.

Getting closure means that you come to a place of emotional acceptance with the end of your friendship. You might still feel a little sad or angry about it, but overall you're ready to accept it and move on to healthier friendships. Here's how to get closure on a friendship that has ended.

Embrace the Reality That Friendships Are Sometimes Meant for a Short Time

It can be shocking when a friendship ends that you thought would go on. It's hard to believe that a pal you hung out with and had so much fun with is no longer available to you.

Instead of focusing on how long or short the friendship lasted, be grateful for it as it was, beginning to end. All friends teach us things regardless of how long they were in our life, including some lessons that we don't realize until much later after we've left them.

Understand That You Can Get Closure Alone

It's a common misconception that you need your friend there in order to truly get closure. People want to say what's on their mind, share their final thoughts, or even ask for one more try. But even if your friend has shut you out, you have it within your power to say goodbye all on your own.

In the book Best Friends Forever, author Irene S. Levine, Ph.D. shares "Friendship Recovery Affirmations" that can help when a friendship ends. They include:

Lost friendships are a part of life.
Every broken friendship offers lessons to inspire better ones in the future.
Closure doesn't take two; it's something you can work on independently.

With the knowledge that you can work through your emotions on your own, regardless of what your friend might think or feel about the situation, you'll be able to fully embrace closure by the work you do alone. This is a powerful concept that can free you and prevent you from dwelling too long on a relationship that has run its course.

Accept the Mistakes You or Your Friend Made as Lessons You Were Meant to Learn

Too often we're bummed about a friendship that ended because we feel like we'd do things differently if we just had a second chance. But the reality is, that friendship was probably meant to teach you the lesson, so when you learn it, embrace the knowledge you gained and move on. Don't try to change the past by wishing it were different.

If you learned something about yourself or people in general, accept these lessons and know that next time you'll do things differently. This concept, while simple, will prevent you from getting stuck in "what if" thinking.

The End Isn't Always About You

It's especially hard to move on from a breakup when you honestly didn't see it coming. A friend who simply pulls away or blocks you, seemingly for no reason, can leave you wondering what you did for a very long time after. But unless your friend is willing to talk to you about it, you'll have to accept that perhaps the breakup really is more about something your friends is going through and very little about what you might have done.

Don't Hope for Reconciliations

The only way reunions work out is when both friends fully leave the friendship and move on with their lives. Then, when they've worked through whatever it is they're meant to deal with, they can reunite at some point. But even then, a reunion that is forced by one friend or attempted at a bad time can fail miserably.

Rather than pine away for a reconciliation, change your thinking to "I'd be open to being friends again in the future if an opportunity should present itself." This means that you'd be willing to look at a possible friendship in the future, but it would still have to be the right fit for you at that time in your life.

Forgive

Perhaps most importantly, forgive you and your friend. No matter what happened (if your friend betrayed you, dumped you for a new love interest, or just walked away without another word) forgive them for whatever it is they did.

But you'll also find that the end of a friendship often comes with a lot of guilt. Forgive yourself as well. Don't get caught up in the "If I would have done this, then we'd still be friends" thinking. The truth is that if you were meant to stay friends, you would have, regardless of what each of you did. There is a higher purpose to everything in life, and that includes friendship.

Use the Things You've Learned to Improve New Friendships That Come Into Your Life

Don't waste those great lessons that you learned from the end of this friendship. Use them to improve all your current relationships and the new friendships you form. Never dwell on mistakes, because as Maya Angelou has said, "When you know better, you do better." If you're know more now than you did before, you're growing emotionally and can form deeper, more solid friendships.

We all know that making new friends as an adult isn't easy. But trying to reconnect with a friend can be even more challenging, especially if you haven't spoken in years due to a major falling out.

I'm speaking from experience. A couple months back, my sister received a message from a former best friend of mine who happened to see my sister and me out together. She wanted to confirm it was me, while I wanted absolutely nothing to do with her. Long story short, about five years earlier, I was going through one of the worst times of my life and my then-friend made a really poor excuse for not being there for me. Things were said and that was that. It's been a while, but when she sent my sister that message, I realized I still wasn't over it.

Not that it mattered, of course. A couple weeks later, I ended up running into her in person. It was definitely awkward, but I managed to be pleasant enough. I knew she got the sense that I wasn't in the mood to talk, and we ended up parting ways. Since then, I've seen her around a couple more times, and I've continued to avoid her.

Around my birthday, I started to think about my life (as many of us tend to do) and decided I wanted to bring more positivity into it over the next year. I was thinking about the relationships I had, and this particular one seemed to stand out the most. What happened a few years back was extremely hurtful, especially since we had known each other since we were 12, so cutting off the friendship was pretty difficult.

But I didn't want to have this lingering negativity about her and the situation stuck in my head. So lately, I've been thinking about whether reaching out to talk and clear the air would be a good idea or not. Although I'm not completely sure if "reconnecting" is what I want out of it, holding a grudge forever isn't going to make my life any better.

If you're thinking of reconnecting with a friend after a major falling out, you may not know where to start or even how to go about it. So here are some simple and helpful tips from experts that you can try (I'm planning to try them, too).

1 Take a leap of faith and make that first move to reconnect.

Just reach out. Send that first text or even DM them if you if you think calling is too much pressure. As licensed professional counselor Kailee Place told HelloGiggles, it's important to take that first step no matter how scary it may be.

"I cannot count how many times clients have talked about struggling to reach out to old friends despite badly wanting to," Place said. "Chances are, this friend will have thought of you throughout the years as well and will be really glad to hear from you."

If fear is holding you back, think of it another way. How would you feel if they reached out to you? If it's been a long while since you talked and you are ready to see them again, you might welcome it.

"It's like receiving a hand-written letter," Place said. "It's something special and will not only brighten someone's day, but may also rekindle something that was once very impactful."

If you do reach out and they don't respond, that's okay too. You've done your part and put yourself out there. "It's okay to be disappointed by that, but eventually, think about how you took action and made a choice to respond to a nagging voice in your head," she said. "And that's pretty amazing in itself."

2 Ask to meet up in person.

If you're serious about hashing things out and reconnecting, do it in person. "Texts, emails, messages, and even calls can leave some things to be misinterpreted or taken out of context," licensed marriage and family therapist Kati Morton told HelloGiggles. "Being in person allows you each to speak your mind, and apologize where necessary."

As tempting as it is to say you're sorry over text, hold off until you can do it in person.

3 Address the issue early on in the conversation.

When you do finally agree to meet up, Caleb Backe, health and wellness expert at Maple Holistics, told us that it's important to lay it all out on the table right away.

"Don't beat around the bush," Backe said. "You're better off addressing the situation from the get-go. Since you have so much history together, there's no point in being awkward or vain because they'll see right through it."

You know you're going to talk about it, so might as well get it all out as soon as possible.

4 Own up to your faults.

When you have a major falling out, it's easy to place all the blame on the other person. But the truth is, no one is ever completely faultless. If you really want to reconnect and repair your friendship, it's important to acknowledge your mistakes. Being defensive and making excuses is only going to make things worse. Beyond that, it can possibly lead to an even bigger fight.

5 Find new commonalities.

Certified counselor Jonathan Bennett told HelloGiggles that finding a way to forge a new bond with your old BFF can make reconnecting a whole lot easier.

For example, you can go back to a coffee place that you always used to go to together. You can talk about how you both have great careers now or how you're interested in maybe starting families. By finding commonalities you share, he said, you increase the odds of having your friend accept your offer to reconnect.

6 Decide what you both want moving forward.

Do you want to stay in touch and work on rebuilding what you once had? Or was this meeting meant to be closure?

"A friendship will only be worth saving if both parties recognize their part in the problem, and want to work on healing from it," Morton said. "It can't work with only one person apologizing or trying harder; relationships of any kind require both people be devoted to it."

At the end of that first meeting, you should decide if forming a new friendship will be worth it or not. It will only cause more hurt if one person is willing to give the friendship another try while the other isn't completely on board.

7 Be patient and keep your expectations in check.

If you decide to give your friendship another go, be patient. You can't expect to be BFFs again right away. As Nicole Zangara, author of Surviving Female Friendships: The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly, explained to HelloGiggles, "It will take time. Take it slow and let the friendship naturally deepen without any expectations or pressure."

Good friendships are pretty hard to find. People do change, so some friendships may not be salvageable. That's okay. Maybe that person really wasn't meant to be in your life long-term. But if you're able to work out your differences and leave the past behind, you may be on your way to being best friends again.

Sadie Holloway is a workshop facilitator who teaches interpersonal communication skills to help people strengthen their relationships.

When a friendship ends, the pain and disappointment may be as traumatic and stressful as a divorce or a break-up. Here are some tips to help you recover after a friendship comes to an end.

Healing from the loss of a special friendship will take time.

Letting go and learning to live without someone you love and care about can be one of the hardest things you'll ever do. But, with time and gentle self-reflection, you can get past your feelings of hurt and disappointment. You can move on with your life, even if it means finding a way to do so without a dear friend at your side.

Why did your friendship end? There are many reason that a friendship may come to an end. And not all of them have to do with having a big "falling out." You may be feeling sad about your friend moving away. Or, perhaps you were the one who moved away. You may be feeling sad because you and your friend no longer share the same hobbies, interests, and activities. Changes in your life, or your friend's life, may mean that you have less time to see each other. When one friend gets married or starts a family, sometimes priorities change and the friendship can't thrive the way it once did.

Whatever the reason your friendship came to an end, here are some ways to cope with your loss.

What was the reason your friendship came to an end?

Avoid playing the blame game when a friendship ends. Look at your friendship objectively and without judgement. There is no need to blame yourself or the other person for your friendship ending, unless you want to hang onto the pain of losing your friend for the rest of your life. Blame, anger, and resentment are traps that keep you from moving on after a relationship ends.

Create new habits and routines. When a friendship ends, old habits die hard sometimes. Perhaps you and your friend had a daily ritual of calling each other at a certain time of day. A favorite TV show or song on the radio can trigger memories of your friendship and bring up feelings of loss and sadness. Constant reminders of your old friendship can make letting go really hard. Finding new social activities, hobbies, and sports activities can keep your mind occupied, improve your mental and physical health and create new social connections.

After a friendship ends, find a way to be your own best friend for awhile. Loving yourself after a let-down is a critical part of recovering from the pain of a relationship ending. You may be feeling down on yourself for letting the friendship end. But that self-hate won't get you anywhere. In fact, it will make finding new friends and companions even harder. When you put yourself down, you draw negative attention to yourself. Try to find positive, life-affirming solo activities that make you feel good about yourself again. Set some personal goals that you want to reach and then make a plan to achieve each of those new goals. But, make sure that the goals you set are for you and you alone. Don't set a self-improvement goal just to get back at your friend or make her jealous. (i.e.; "I will lose weight so that I can look more fabulous than her!"). Goals set just to spite someone else won't help you move past the pain of the relationship ending.

Give yourself and the other person time and space to heal after your friendship ends. One of the most important things to do when you're letting go of someone you care about, whether it's your best friend, a close office buddy, or a favorite study pal from school, is to give yourself, and the other person, space to cope with the grief of a lost friendship. You both will need time and space to figure out how to live independently and find new interests and activities.

There are no goodbyes for us. Wherever you are, you will always be in my heart.

With time, you will recover from the pain of losing your friend. It may be hard to reach out to others for awhile; it may be hard to let yourself trust another person; it may be difficult to let your guard down and let new people into your life. But if you want to move on after a friendship comes to an end, you must find new ways to reach out to others.

If you have forgotten how to make new friends, here are a few articles that can help you get back on your feet again.

A Gentle Meditation on Letting Go of a Relationship

Giving up doesn't always mean you are weak; sometimes it means that you are strong enough to let go.

How To Break Up With a Best Friend (or Any Friend)

Fun Ways to Celebrate National Friendship Day

by Sadie Holloway 0

How to Deal With Needy Friends: Avoiding People With Clingy Behavior Without Being Rude

by princesswithapen 2

What to Do When Your Best Friend Lies to You

by princesswithapen 13

How to Be a Better Friend With Compassionate Listening

by McKenna Meyers 2

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Losing friends is a painful experience. Whether it's from simply growing apart, betrayal or an unexpected death, the event can be a devastating blow to our emotional wellbeing. Below you'll find a collection of wise and insightful quotes on losing friends.

Friendship is delicate as a glass, once broken it can be fixed but there will always be cracks.

Two persons cannot long be friends if they cannot forgive each other's little failings.

Jean De La Bruyere

We all lose friends.. we lose them in death, to distance, and over time. But even though they may be lost, hope is not. The key is to keep them in your heart, and when the time is right, you can pick up the friendship right where you left off. Even the lost find their way home, when you leave the light on.

An insincere friend is more to be feared than a wild beast; a wild beast may wound your body, but an evil friend will wound your mind.

Breaking with old friends is one of the most painful of the changes in all that piling up of a multitude of small distasteful changes that constitutes growing older.

John Dos Passos

Friendship is like a glass ornament, once it is broken, it can rarely be put back together in exactly the same way.

The worst solitude is to be destitute of sincere friendship.

Sir Francis Bacon

True regret is knowing you missed your only opportunity to be simply a good friend to someone that was exactly like you.

Shannon L. Alder

The worst pain in the world goes beyond the physical. Even further beyond any other emotional pain one can feel. It is the betrayal of a friend.

Good God! How often are we to die before we go quite off this stage? In every friend we lose a part of ourselves, and the best part

If two friends ask you to judge a dispute, do not accept, as you may lose a friend.

While we are mourning the loss of our friend, others are rejoicing to meet him behind the veil.

Though friendship is not quick to burn, it is explosive stuff.

It is far better to be alone, than to be in bad company.

I need not fear my enemies because the most they can do is attack me. I need not fear my friends because the most they can do is betray me. But I have much to fear from people who are indifferent.

It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend.

It's hard to tell who has your back, from who has it long enough just to stab you in it'.

It is more shameful to distrust our friends than to be deceived by them.

False friends are like our shadow, keeping close to us while we walk in the sunshine, but leaving us the instant we cross into the shade.

Christian Nestell Bovee

Friendship must never be buried under the weight of misunderstanding.

Sometimes the measure of friendship isn't your ability to not harm but your capacity to forgive the things done to you and ask forgiveness for your own mistakes.

Randy K. Milholland

We can't feel the lose of a friend until they are apart from us.

A lost friendship is an enemy won.

Sometimes your closest friend is your greatest enemy.

Excuse me, then! you know my heart; But dearest friends, alas! must part

Don't be dismayed at goodbyes. A farewell is necessary before you can meet again. And meeting again, after moments or lifetime, is certain for those who are friends.

You meet people who forget you. You forget people you meet. But sometimes you meet those people you can't forget. Those are your friends.

Some say that time changes. Best friends can become strangers.

But fate ordains that dearest friends must part.

In losing a friend, she is reminded of all she has lost and all she stands to lose again. There is nothing to be done to make it any easier. We all grieve alone.

"I remember praying to God that he wouldn't propose."

How to Resume a Friendship With a Long Lost Friend

When relationships take a bit of a downward turn, it can be hard to tell whether it's just a rough patch, or if maybe you're actually not in love with that person anymore. And, if you do come to realise your relationship has morphed into little more than a friendship, pulling the plug can be really hard. They've technically not done anything wrong, but your (or their) feelings have changed. That's a tough one to navigate.

Women who've been through this took to Reddit to explain exactly how they knew their relationships had turned into friendships (and ultimately, how they had to end).

1."Flirting would rarely be reciprocated. Any convos would be shorter and less meaningful. We'd take longer to respond to each other's texts. Overall, even though we were still just as close, the spark wasn't there anymore. We loved each other deeply, but long-distance was harsh and unforgiving. Eventually, we both moved on. It took so long because we were still talking every day – we just weren't dating." [via]

2."When he tried to kiss me and I was grossed out. I couldn't remember what I ever saw in him in the first place. He's not a gross or unattractive guy, I just was not attracted to him sexually or romantically." [via]

How to Resume a Friendship With a Long Lost Friend

3."When I was looking forward to my period in order to avoid having sex. The spark was just never there for me unfortunately. We were together for almost four years. I just wasn't physically attracted to him." [via]

4."After we had gone several months without sex. I brought it up because it occurred to me that maybe he was feeling really badly and resentful about it. He kind of shrugged and just said that he liked hanging out with me. We talked about it and, realising that neither of us were that sexually attracted to the other, ended up breaking up." [via]

5."When I was no longer sexually attracted to them. There was no dramatic change to their appearance. Wouldn't matter too much to me if there was. The spark was just gone.

"The spark was just gone"

"When the spark is gone, you slowly lose your sexual attraction to them. Doesn't mean you love them less, the love just changes into something platonic." [via]

6."I didn't want him touching me at all. No sex whatsoever. [I was] constantly thinking about other men. We would fight all the time over absolutely everything. It was the hardest break up though. Typically I leave because the boyfriend had cheated or was an asshole. My ex didn't do anything wrong. I just fell out of love with him. Glad I did though because I have the most wonderful life with the most sexual man I've ever met!" [via]

How to Resume a Friendship With a Long Lost Friend

7."It slowly started to become more of a friends with benefits type of thing for the last six months of our two-year relationship.

"He just stopped loving me as a partner"

"To this day we are still really really close friends but he just stopped loving me as a partner, [he] continued [loving me] as a person though. I could tell because he would stop sending me cute texts, complimenting me, planning dates, putting any effort into what he looked like even when we went out, doing all the things he used to do to show he loved me." [via]

8."I got tired of him constantly whining to me about really small problems, while refusing to talk through the bigger issues (like if we were planning to be in the same place after we graduated, or if either or both of us wanted to get married to each other, etc.) We had been together for over three years at that point, and I felt like I was with a needy juvenile. I could no longer view him as a sexual being, and I still can't." [via]

How to Resume a Friendship With a Long Lost Friend

9."He had lost interest sexually long before I did, but made excuses. Finally he started putting effort into it but we both had tons of reasons why it wasn't happening. We weren't sharing a bedroom. Neither of us felt any jealousy. Finally I met somebody and felt that hunger again. I told him I wanted an open relationship and he agreed. Maybe if everything else was OK we could have made it, but he was a toxic abusive creep on top of it so, bye Felicia." [via]

10."When I was holding onto the 'good times', aka the honeymoon stage, and trying to remember how excited I was to be with him. It started feeling like a chore, staying with him, after I forgave him for things I never should have. I should've stuck to my gut and refused to have allowed him to talk me out of breaking up (the first time) with him at six weeks." [via]

11."I enjoyed our shared interests but everything I did with him I could also do with my girl friends, and probably have a better time doing so. Also, there was no enjoyment in kissing, and heartfelt, meaningful compliments disappeared and became awkward and forced if they were ever exchanged." [via]

How to Resume a Friendship With a Long Lost Friend

12."When he told me he loved me and I couldn't say the words back." [via]

13."When I told him I wanted to take a break from our relationship and once we were on the break, nothing felt different." [via]

14." We were friends first, and there was definitely some initial spark/intrigue, but the relationship should definitely not have survived past the first couple months (instead of the five plus years it did, ugh.)

How to Resume a Friendship With a Long Lost Friend

"The foundational friendship confused the boundaries of feeling, and I always tried to twist the narrative to make it work, ('We have a companionate love', 'Even though this might not be what I want forever, it's good for right now,' 'I'll end things when he's less depressed/has a better job/other things in his life are doing better'.) [via]

15."The Valentine's Day before I broke up with him, I remember praying to God that he wouldn't propose. My true feelings that day were clarified and I broke up with him very soon after."[via]

A broken friendship can be quite hard on the heart and result in an aching guilt that can plague you forever. The reasons for a broken friendship might be many, but most often, when people look back at their broken friendships, they regret them. Touching broken friendship quotes will prompt you to pick up the phone and call that friend immediately.

How to Resume a Friendship With a Long Lost Friend

Has this ever happened to you? You run into a friend you haven't spoken to in a while. You look at each other for a moment, wondering whether you should talk or not, cast awkward glances, and eventually go about your business. It's funny how two friends who were once inseparable can become complete strangers, isn't it?

Often when you see people who were once very close and have later moved on to part ways, you think what could've gone so terribly wrong between them that they can't even stand each other now? Can a friendship that starts with a 'no sorry, no thank you' rule and reaches the 'friends forever' stage end on such a bitter note? If you have ever lost a friend to a petty fight or any other differences, read through some broken friendship quotes, after which, most certainly, you might want to give your friendship another shot.

Moving on is simple; what you leave behind, that makes it difficult. – Unknown

A simple friend thinks the friendship is over when you have an argument. A real friend knows that it's not a friendship until after you've had a fight. – Unknown

You meet people who forget you. You forget people you meet. But sometimes you meet those people you can't forget. Those are your friends. – Unknown

We always thought we'd look back on our tears and laugh, but we never thought we'd look back on our laughter and cry. – Unknown

Friendship must never be buried under the weight of misunderstanding. – Sri Chinmoy

Since there is nothing so well worth having as friends, never lose a chance to make them. – Francesco Guicciardini

How to Resume a Friendship With a Long Lost Friend

Truly great friends are hard to find, difficult to leave, and impossible to forget. – G. Randolf

My father always used to say that when you die, if you've got five real friends, then you've had a great life. – Lee Iacocca

There is nothing more dreadful than the habit of doubt. Doubt separates people. It is a poison that disintegrates friendships and breaks up pleasant relations. It is a thorn that irritates and hurts; it is a sword that kills. – Buddha

Broken friendships are very hard to fix but sometimes we just have to believe that everything will be okay in the end. – Unknown

Caring was the only thing I ever did when we were friends. The minute you turned your back is the minute I realized I deserved better. – Unknown

How to Resume a Friendship With a Long Lost Friend

It's tough when your friend begins to ignore you. It's even tougher to pretend you don't mind. – Unknown

It breaks my heart to see the person who I thought was my best friend, forget about me, lie to me, ignore me and just leave me alone without a warning… – Unknown

You were the one I thought who wouldn't…let me down. What shocked me is…when I needed you the most…you were the first to walk away. – Unknown

If the other person in the friendship is worth it then the broken friendship can be fixed, no matter what. – Unknown

How to Resume a Friendship With a Long Lost Friend

Friendship is like a glass ornament, once it is broken, it can rarely be put back together in exactly the same way. – Charles Kingsley

Every passing day, you're closer to being forgotten, and even so I wish our friendship had not been killed along with our fate. – Unknown

We all lose friends…we lose them in death, to distance and over time. But even though they may be lost, hope is not. The key is to keep them in your heart, and when the time is right, you can pick up the friendship right where you left off. Even the lost find their way home when you leave the light on. – Amy Marie Walz

Things change and friends leave and life doesn't stop for anybody. – Unknown

How to Resume a Friendship With a Long Lost Friend

Just because you stopped calling me your friend, doesn't mean I stopped calling you mine. – Unknown

I don't get the chance to say it anymore. But I still feel it. You're my best friend. You always were. – Joey, Dawson's Creek

An insincere and evil friend is more to be feared than a wild beast; a wild beast may wound your body, but an evil friend will wound your mind. – Buddha

Life is too short to hold grudges and harbor bitterness. Cherish the people who have been with you and are always with you. Friends are always friends no matter what. Every friendship goes through its good and bad phases, but remember that you can make a difference by taking the first step and bridging the gap.

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Friendship Quotes

It took a while, but finally you understood that your calls and text messages were going unanswered and a few weeks went by without getting together for coffee as was your custom. In short, your friend dumped you! You don't understand why. You are hurt and perhaps angry as well. You miss your friend's support and the good times you used to have. It may feel like you will never recover from dissolution of this friendship.

Understanding Your Feelings

Irene Levine, author of "Best Friends Forever," claims that losing a friend can feel like divorce; coping with the loss of friendship is not very different from coping with other losses. Therefore, feelings of confusion, anger, disappointment, sadness, shame and more are all normal responses to the loss of a close friend. Find someone with whom you can share these feelings rather than trying to wish them away.

There Is a Reason

Even if it seems totally out of the blue, your friend wouldn't just end the friendship without a reason. It might be because of something you did but it can just as easily be unrelated to you. In her article "How Friendships End," researcher Suzanna Rose found that life cycle transitions can trigger dissolution of friendships. Men, for example, may end friendships when they move to another location and women when they marry.

Asking for an Explanation

Knowing why the friendship ended may help you cope with the loss; however, your friend may not be willing to tell you. If you decide to take the chance, one option may be to write and tell your friend you are sorry at the sudden loss of contact and if it is because of something you did or said, you would appreciate her telling you so you can learn a life lesson from this. You might want to add that if it was something in her own life caused her to withdraw, you are still there if she needs you. Keep it simple and do not expect a response.

Taking Care of Yourself

Coach and consultant Henry Miller recommends that you give yourself time to adjust to the loss and regain your balance. Meanwhile, continue to engage in activities that have given you pleasure in the past — get physical exercise, be with people who support you and trust that the pain will pass in time. Remembering past friendships and being sure that new friendships await you can help you cope with your loss.

Friendships are like marriages. Some evolve to become mutually supportive and life-giving bonds while others grow more and more unhealthy, or even toxic. When a friendship ends—abruptly or subtly; via e-mail, phone conversation, or personal confrontation; with words or silence—I believe it needs to be mourned and processed in the same way as a terminated marriage. Because, even if a split was inevitable or right, it still hurts, just as much, or sometimes even more, than breaking up with a beau. Here, then, are eight ways to make sure you get closure and peace, especially if there was no good-bye.

1. Compose a good-bye letter.

Of course, no one is going to read it. But that's not the point. The exercise of writing it is astonishingly therapeutic. I've written many old boyfriends letters that I never sent, some family members, and my father after he died. I needed a way to communicate that was for purely selfish reasons. So that I could hear myself say good-bye to this person that I really liked, or loved, or enjoyed having as a Facebook friend.

2. Pluck out the feeling.

Sometimes feelings need a little nudging in order for us to acknowledge and process them. It's like they are seeds stuck in a shell, and we need to scoop them out in order to free them. Some helpful exercises for scooping out the seeds of rejection and sadness from a terminated friendship: looking through pictures of trips together or graduation from high school or college, listening to songs that trigger memories, or frequenting the coffee shop where you used to meet. They all help you to mourn an ending.

3. Plan a ritual.

I know this sounds voodoo-ish, actually that's a step I'm getting to. But seriously, it's not like you have a funeral to go to, or any way of moving through this in a symbolic way that can help you process your emotions. So you're going have to create one … a ceremony of sorts.

After it was clear to me that an old boyfriend in college was simply not into me, I took the beautiful poem that he wrote me to a cemetery on the campus of Saint Mary's College. I knelt there, ripped up the poem, and threw the pieces of paper into the air, crying (really hard). The most amazing thing happened. It started snowing. Right at that very second. It was like the heavens heard my cry, and the angels were tearing up sheets of paper right along with me. You don't need the snow to feel better, though. Just the ripping should do the job.

4. Fill the space with something new.

This is true for any loss. When I stopped drinking I had to come up with some sober activities ASAP. Ditto when I stopped smoking. And on down the addiction list … It always feels uncomfortable at first. That's a good sign. It means you are processing emotions, which is part of closure. If it felt cozy, then I'd say you weren't doing it right. But change can be fun and challenging at the same time. And you're allowed to use four lettered words if you don't like it at first, unless you've given those up too.

5. Get even.

Here's where the voodoo comes in handy. Only kidding, of course, but I did tell Fresh Living blogger Holly Rossi (for her story, click here) that if that bridesmaid/friend who dissed her (Holly) after the wedding comes begging for friendship later, when the chick is on husband number two, Holly has every right to dis her right back. But revenge doesn't need to be mean to be effective. In fact, the best revenge is sweet, like arriving at a great spot in your life, finding peace with yourself without that person who dumped you.

6. Make a plan.

You might think about what you would do if the friend comes begging back. Because it happens. Or you run into her at the bank or the grocery, and your mouth opens but no noise comes out. Best to have a script, to think it through: if this person wants into my life again, should I let her? That's a hard one. Go back and view my video in order to answer that question. I ask myself this: Does the relationship empower me, or deflate me? Does this person build me up or tear me down? And can I be sincere–truly sincere–when I'm with her? This goes for new friends too. Start a new friend policy now. What are the requirements from now on for a person to be your friend? You deserve some, you know.

7. Stay with the pain.

You knew I was going here, because I always do. Back to Henri Nouwen's words, about staying with the loneliness, about feeling it, not rushing into activity to skip over it … about going through it, not around it. He writes:

It is not easy to stay with your loneliness. …. But when you can acknowledge your loneliness in a safe, contained place, you make your pain available for God's healing. God does not want your loneliness; God wants to touch you in a way that permanently fulfills your deepest need. It is important that you dare to stay with your pain and allow it to be there. You have to own your loneliness and trust that it will not always be there. The pain you suffer now is meant to put you in touch with the place where you most need healing, your very heart….Dare to stay with your pain, and trust in God's promise to you.

8. Don't take it personally.

I know, I know … yeah, right! But if you can do this on any level, you save yourself so much suffering. In his classic, "The Four Agreements," don Miguel Ruiz writes, "Even when a situation seems so personal, even if others insult you directly, it has nothing to do with you. What they say, what they do, and the opinions they give are according to the agreements they have in their own minds. …If you do not take it personally, you are immune in the middle of hell." Man, I like that.

Last Updated On May 29, 2018 By Letter Writing

Its hard to find real friends and it is even more difficult to trust your friends. Similarly, it is tough to forgive your friend. Usually, a true friend will always love you and take care of you, but at times, even these real friends can deceive you. There are times when we end up facing disloyalty from our loved ones and were deeply hurt. This is the reason why you need to know how to handle the situation, forgive them and move on.

Betrayal is common. Who hasn't been betrayed? And if even one of our friend betrays us we think all our other friends are capable of betraying us. Thus this leads for a person to believe that betrayal is a common thing that we'll have to face and we believe that it is going to happen anyway. A betrayal will always open our eyes, and we can learn from a betrayal. The best way to show that you have been hurt is to write a letter to the respective person. And we provide you with samples to write them.

Table of Contents

Tips to write a Broken Friendship Letter

Since it, is an informal letter one can use different fonts, colors, slangs usage of words in the letter.
The letter should be calm and polite. Although it is a Broken Friendship Letter, try to maintain the composure by sticking to decency.
The letter does not need to have the full name and address of the recipient as it will be written using the friend's first name only.
It is okay if you skip the "Yours sincerely" part and write "Love," etc.

Broken Friendship Letter Template

Use our free Broken Friendship Letter to help you get started. If you need additional help or more examples, check out some of the sample letters below.

From,
__________
__________
__________
__________

Date: _____ (Date on Which Letter is Written)

To,
__________
__________
__________
__________

Subject: Broken Friendship Letter.

Dear _____(Sir or Madam),

It's taken me a while to stabilize my mind from the betrayal and write this letter to you. You hurt me in a way I never imagined you would. Agreed I had been heartbroken before, but I never even had an idea that you _________________ (Name of your friend), would hurt me. Instead of thinking of you as a friend, I think of you as __________ (State the relation) who hurt me and broke my heart. i didn't ever utter a negative word for you but you told everyone that ________________ (State the incident).

Thanks to you, I have had a hard time making new friends. I don't know when one of them might betray me like you did. _______________ (State the reasons why you are broken from inside). But I am working on it, and things will be better soon. I would like to thank you, had you not left me, I would not have got such good friends like ____________________ (Name the new friends).

With this letter, I say a final goodbye to you. I just wanted to wish you the best, and I only hope you feel the same about me.

Name and Signature.

Sample Letter

From,
Nicole Taylor,
Sydney, Australia.

Date: 12th February 2002.

Valerie Mathew,
Melbourne, Australia.

Subject: Broken Friendship Letter.

It's taken me a while to stabilize my mind from the betrayal and write this letter to you. You hurt me in a way I never imagined you would. Agreed I have been heartbroken before, but I never even had an idea that you Valerie, would hurt me. Instead of thinking of you as a friend, I think of you as the girl who hurt me and broke my heart. I didn't ever utter a negative word for you, but you told everyone who would listen to you and believe you. I lost more than a good friend that day. I see you made new friends. If you didn't want our friendship to continue, you could've just told me. It would have made sense that way.

Thanks to you, I have had a hard time making new friends. I don't know when one of them might betray me like you did. But I am working on it, and things will be better soon. You always said that you be there for me forever but just in a flick of a second, everything changed. I'm glad were not anymore cause you've changed a lot. All my new friends actually car about me and love me, unlike you, who just boosted around for doing all the that you said. If that fight didn't take place, I wouldn't have met them ever, So, thank you.

Lastly, I would like to say a final goodbye. I just wish that the best comes your way, despite our breakup. I hope you feel the same

Email Format

The following is the Email Format that should be followed while writing a Broken Friendship Letter.

Subject: Broken Friendship Letter.

Lastly, I would like to say a final goodbye. I just wish that the best comes your way, despite our breakup. I hope you feel the same

How to Resume a Friendship With a Long Lost Friend

Poetry for Old Friends that You've Lost Touch With

Someone with all the money in the world but no one to enjoy it with, would be depressed. Admittedly that's an extreme example, but the truth is that all of the enjoyable things in the world get old quickly without a friend to share them with. On the other hand, if a person was experiencing all the hardships in the world, they may go insane without the aid of a friend. People that don't have anyone to socially interact may lose their minds and develop an imaginary friend just to ease the loneliness. Human interaction is necessary. It is simply the way that we are wired.

Friendship Poems about Losing a Friend

Today I Passed You By

By Alba Medina
Published: July 2018

today I passed you by
our shoulders almost touched
as your eyes diverted

Stories 2
Shares 271
Fav orited 4
Votes 83
Rating 4.39

I loved this poem. It encouraged me to value my past, present, and future friendships. I felt challenged to reconnect with my past relationships and to treasure those kindled memories.

I Didn't Want You To Die

By Bruce Cassidy
Published: June 2008

I miss you man; won't you please come back
'Cause you were loved; didn't you know that?
You saved my life; I could talk to you.
I would have saved yours if only I knew.

Stories 5
Shares 347
Fav orited 12
Votes 436
Rating 4.44

I went behind my best friend's back and talked to his crush. He was mad. I hated myself and I cried. He said stop crying. I'm just upset. He said let's not talk for a few days. I miss him.

Failed Friendships

By Melanie S.
Published: March 2008

Do you know what it feels like to be left behind?
Losing everyone around you in such little time.

I try not to worry since they're left in the past,

Stories 23
Shares 1511
Fav orited 33
Votes 1036
Rating 4.43

This poem touched my heart because throughout all the years of my childhood I lost friendships. One by one I made friends in grades kindergarten through 8th. One by one they all moved away.

Foolish Friendship

By Carmen Harlan
Published: March 2010

Today I stopped trying to be 'someone' for somebody
who never thought of me as anyone appreciated and important to them.

Inside I know the space I had for them is now crushed and broken.

Stories 11
Shares 884
Fav orited 20
Votes 372
Rating 4.46

I have a friend; her name is Charity. We both finished high school together. She was my very best friend, and I love her so much, but her family was richer than mine and eventually she had to.

A Friend Commits Suicide

By Amiee
Published: April 2008

You were like a brother to me,
My very best friend.
You said you would always be there.
You promised we would never end.

Stories 0
Shares 236
Fav orited 15
Votes 262
Rating 4.40

Once A Friend

By Menez
Published: March 2014

Empty laughter
Broken feelings
Inner torture
Sorrowed breathing

Stories 4
Shares 572
Fav orited 11
Votes 388
Rating 4.39

My friend is suffering from mild depression, but it's getting worse quickly. It's hard to figure out a way to let her know she's loved. She's just so scared all the time. This touched me.

Love Of A Friend

By SJ Yee
Published: August 2010

sitting alone gazing at the sky
thinking of you always make me cry
as the time goes by, wishing you and I
I still love you I can't deny.

Stories 0
Shares 369
Fav orited 8
Votes 117
Rating 4.40

I Lost My Two Best Friends

By Kayla August
Published: August 2010

I lost my best friend, why? God help me
It's been almost two years since we've spoken to each other.
You were the best part of me
you made me so happy, you were like my little sister.

Stories 5
Shares 205
Fav orited 5
Votes 159
Rating 4.35

This actually happen to me 5 months ago. I lost a 3 year friendship with my friend, and she was an amazing person. Now I'm hurting because I let my jealousy get in the way of something I.

Momentary Friendship

By Kate Singerrel
Published: August 2010

I really thought we'd be best friends forever,
then you did something I thought you would never
you talked bad about me, without my knowledge,
and when I sensed a feeling of resentment.

Stories 0
Shares 116
Fav orited 5
Votes 66
Rating 4.33

Black Tears

By Benjamin Rice
Published: July 2011

Tears falling on my keyboard tonight.
Not tears of longing or sorrow..
But tears of the deepest night..
Looking for a way to explain.

Stories 1
Shares 149
Fav orited 3
Votes 95
Rating 4.32

I had a best friend, he knew me like the palm of his hand, we were really close, we shared our secrets, our concerns. One day he decided to tell me he liked me, well I felt bad because I.

Last Updated June 17, 2020

Sometimes, even the best of friendships can fall apart. For those times when you've lost a good friend, and it's hard to describe what you're feeling these quotes sum up what a friendship breakup feels like and they will help you heal from a broken friendship. How to Resume a Friendship With a Long Lost Friend

Some people are going to leave, but that's not the end of your story. That's the end of their part in your story.
The silence of a true friend always hurts more than the rough words spoken by the enemy.
The most painful goodbyes are the ones that are never said and never explained.
I didn't lose a friend. I just realized I never had one.
A friendship that can cease has never been real.
Sometimes you have to unfollow people in real life.
Somebody asked me if I knew you. So many memories flashed through my mind that time but all I did was to smile and I only said I used to know you.
Some people aren't loyal to you. They are loyal to their needs of you. Once their needs change, so does their loyalty.
Friendship is not capable of ending if it ends it is only because it never existed.
Friendship is delicate as a glass, once broken it can be fixed, but there will always be cracks.

How to Resume a Friendship With a Long Lost Friend

Fighting for a relationship is worth, but you should avoid it when you are the only one fighting.
Sometimes you have to give up on people. Not because you don't care, because they don't.
It takes a minute to like someone, an hour to love someone, but to forget someone it takes a lifetime.
I've always been afraid of losing people I love. Sometimes I wonder if there is anyone out there scared to lose me.
I'd rather have no friends than fake ones.
I miss you. The old you. The new one sucks.
Inspiring Friendship Quotes and Sayings
Don't feel sad over someone who gave up on you, feel sorry for them because they gave up on someone who would have never given up on them.
When a friendship is ending, if we could feel our feelings and move on, we would hurt less.
True friendship can afford true knowledge. It does not depend on darkness and ignorance.
The worst thing ever is seeing your best friend gradually replacing you with another friend.
The reason it hurts so much to separate is that our souls are connected.

How to Resume a Friendship With a Long Lost Friend

The most frightening thing about betrayal is the fact that it will never come from your enemies but comes from your friends.
The most beautiful discovery true friends make is that they can grow separately without growing apart.
The moment your friends cease to share their complications with you, know that is the moment you lost your prime place in their hearts.
The fact that you thought about ending the friendship gives the answers to all my questions if ever there was any.
Sweet is the memory of distant friends! Like the mellow rays of the departing sun, it falls tenderly, yet sadly, on the heart.

How to Resume a Friendship With a Long Lost Friend

Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for a while, leave footprints on our hearts, and we are never, ever the same.
Remember me? I used to be your best friend.
People enter and exit your life, and sometimes exits are for the best. Do not think of ending the friendship as a failure.
People always change and sometimes friends turn to be strangers but the all the memories never change.
Oh, my bad. I'm sorry for bothering you. I forgot I only exist when you need me for something.
No person is your friend who demands your silence or denies your right to grow.

How to Resume a Friendship With a Long Lost Friend

Make as many friends as you can, but don't build your life on them alone. It's an unstable foundation.
Lovers have a right to betray your friends don't.
Laughter is not at all a bad beginning for a friendship, and it is far the best ending for one.
If you lose a friend because you're honest, it wasn't a good friend.
If two friends ask you to judge a dispute, do not accept, as you may lose a friend.
I truly do not hate you, but my disappointment is that you changed and became everything you had promised you would never be.
I pray to God to remove my enemies from my life, and before I know it I started losing friends. Am just saying no one to be trusted.

How to Resume a Friendship With a Long Lost Friend

I have learned that no matter how good a friend is, they're going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.
I guess what they say is true. Friends come and go. But I never thought that applies to you.
Have a nice life. I'm done trying to be in it.
Hard times will always reveal true friends.
Friendship means understanding, not agreement. It means forgiveness, not forgetting. It means the memories last, even if contact is lost.
Everyone leaves footprints in your memory, but the ones that leave footprints in your heart are the ones you will remember.
Due to success, I started losing friends.
Broken friendship can become either a full stop or a comma in your life; the choice is yours to make it either of the two.
Best thing to do is to apologize and move on.

Life wouldnвЂ™t be nearly as interesting, exciting or emotional without friends along for the ride. Friends are there to teach us about how other people work вЂ" they are our window to the world outside ourselves and our family life.

They introduce us to the diversity of human nature as well as teach us how difficult it can be to get along.

Friends serve a very important role in our development as individuals. They also function as a support team when life gets a bit overwhelming вЂ" which, at one point or another, it always does. As we grow older, we create new friendships and allow older ones to die out.

There are, however, several reasons we should reconnect with our roots and reach out to those who once were a fundamental part of our lives. Here are seven of them:

1. At the very least, youвЂ™ll experience a hint of nostalgia вЂ" everybody loves nostalgia.

Meeting up with old friends brings an air of youth along with it. It brings memories rushing to the forefront of our minds, allowing us to bask in the warmth.

Nostalgia is a beautiful feeling. It reminds us of the way things once were, the happiness that we experienced growing up, and all the wonder. If you have no other reason to contact any of your old friends, then do it for the sake of the smile itвЂ™ll bring to your face.

2. ItвЂ™s fascinating to see how our roads diverge over time, taking those that were once close to us to opposite sides of the world.

Each of us writes his or her own story and although many stories have similar beginnings, the middle and the end will differ greatly. As humans, we often only rely on our own perspectives, paying attention to the way our own stories play out.

Reconnecting with past friends will allow you to see the world in a new light. It will show you how funny and weird life can really be. You were a part of their lives at one point and they a part of yours.

Maybe you influenced each other more than you know.

3. TheyвЂ™ll remind you of the person you once were and will allow you to better judge the person you have become.

Life seems to become more complicated and more difficult with age. LifeвЂ™s daunting questions weigh heavier upon us year after year. With all that goes on, itвЂ™s easy to lose sight of ourselves.

To lose sight of the dreams we once had and the people we hoped to one day become. Life may not have been simpler back then, but to us it was.

We had a simpler way of thinking вЂ" more black and white, with much fewer greys. Getting in touch with your old friends will remind you of the person you used to be. Maybe you lost track. Maybe youвЂ™ve grown wiser. Either way, itвЂ™s good to know.

4. It may convince you that you knew how to find real friends better when you were younger than you do now.

Friends, generally speaking, arenвЂ™t easy to make вЂ" especially when you get older. The older we get, the more independent we become. Frankly, the older we get, the less we need friends. Or, rather, the less we believe that we need friends.

As adults, most of the people in our lives are mere acquaintances. However, we donвЂ™t always recognize them as such. We sometimes get lost in the illusion that the acquaintances in our lives are actual friends.

While most people become better judges of character with age, they also get lonelier and more desperate with age. You may have awful friends right now and not even know it.

5. On the other hand, you may realize that your judgment has improved significantly with time.

You may meet your old friends and decide that you were crazy thinking that these people should have stayed in your life. You may even remember why you cut them off in the first place.

A reminder of what friends shouldnвЂ™t be is just as good as a reminder of what friends ought to be.

6. ItвЂ™s not unthinkable that you may reconnect and continue the friendship.

I feel that all the excitement of growing up, of going to high school, then college, then finding a job, makes us lose a lot of valuable connections. We lose touch with a lot of people due to geographical reasons.

We also lose touch with many friends because we get overly excited about making new ones. Maybe itвЂ™s time to rekindle the friendship.

7. Friends are a fundamental part of our lives вЂ" there should be a reason for either letting them go or keeping them around.

We shouldnвЂ™t simply leave things to chance and allow them to either dwindle or carry on simply because. But thatвЂ™s what often happens. Friendship breakups donвЂ™t have the pizazz that relationship breakups do; they usually fade away as if they were never there to begin with.

This says nothing more about us other than the fact that we are egocentric and lazy creatures. You could have made an effort to stay friends, but you didnвЂ™t.

ThatвЂ™s not a very good reason not to keep a good person in your life. Good people are hard to come by.

For More Of His Thoughts And Ramblings, Follow Paul Hudson On Twitter And Facebook.

This is the goodbye I never had the courage to tell you.
No, – the shame, the desire. After all,
what are farewells but another way of saying
"This is your fault"?

What separates self-love from
selfish? Where is the line drawn?
Is it the crease between your lips?

Where there lingers nothing but apology;
No, – bitterness, nostalgia. For what is the end
but another beginning? This one free
of you. Bared teeth, mouth wide open.

What separates friendship from
envy? Love from anxiety?
Is it the slit between my legs?
The pebbles skirting my feet?
The plane tickets without your name?

This is the fall-out I never had the will to fight.
No, – the excuse, the silence.

– B.F.F. , Sade Andria Zabala

We have known each other well for a number of years that I trust you understand why I'm writing this.

Lately our relationship has felt like walking on eggshells. Once upon a time we were a safe space where it mattered zero if we were farting, if we were experimenting with crazy hairdos, if we were naked, if you were changing your perspective of the world, or if I was obsessing with a new hobby. There was mutual trust, respect, and authenticity. We were there for each other.

And then it stopped.

To be specific, you stopped.

I know it sounds selfish but it seems like you stopped trying. It has felt that way the last years recently. The text replies came less and the seenzone-ing came more. The excitement we both shared when hanging out became replaced by an ominous sense of resentment – of what I still do not know.

Perhaps I read the vibe wrong. Perhaps I'm "paranoid" as you said. Perhaps I was also insensitive towards you, but I've always counted on the fact you loved me, truly loved me, to never be intentionally callous.

Thus I don't understand why when I enthusiastically share a new interest in something, you meet it with disinterest. Why when I gush about what I love and hate, you cut me off to change the topic. Why when you're hanging out with someone else, there seems to be more genuine laughter tumbling out of you. I don't understand why you insist on telling me news about people I cut off from my life that you know I'd rather not hear or talk about OR why you tag me in sweetly captioned #BFF social media posts when I have not seen, heard, nor felt that amount of tenderness from you in real life as of late.

Do you know what stings most?

You once confessed you felt isolated and helpless because you didn't like your other friends (the ones you regularly hang out with). When I asked, "So why do you keep being friends with them?" You said, "Because I have no one else." They left you out yet you exert more effort to maintain a friendship with them than with me.

So now I'm going to stop trying, too. I'm going to stop choosing people who have stopped choosing me a long time ago.

I won't allow you to ignore my boyfriend (now husband) on the pretext of him being "just another guy you're boy-crazy about." I won't allow you to dismiss topics I'm passionate about as "just another Facebook post for attention." I won't allow you to give your anxiety as an excuse, again, to trigger mine – like the day I hugged you goodbye after pretending not to notice your friends' cold-shoulders and you stood there, arms at the sides, not hugging back (do you even know that literally gave me, and still continues to give me, vivid hurtful nightmares the past three months? you would have had you cared to ask, but I guess you don't give a damn).

Maybe I've complained too much about the petty stuff. Maybe I developed principles you didn't approve of. Maybe you're unhappy about the juvenile ways I acted out when we were growing up. Maybe, maybe, maybe. I guess I'll never know, will I? I'll never know because you talked more to other people about your problems with me instead of hashing it out with your "best friend."

Here's the thing:

best friends never talk bad behind your back no matter how bad shit gets.

No matter how pissed you are at each other.

You're right, I'm more selfish now. More selfish, shameless, and self-loving: which is precisely why I'm dumping you because relationships are a two-way street. We give and we take: and I've been giving and giving emotionally while you've been taking and taking and sometimes blocking me off altogether.

I've outgrown you. I will no longer subject myself to your eye-rolling, nostril-flaring disdain when I say I want to try to change for the good and believe I am making progress.

Yes, I fuck up a lot, still. Yes, I notice when you are turned off by something I say/do. Yes, I have also been ignorant, but I cannot continue to walk away from the rotten parts of my identity when you belittle the steps forward I make. I cannot improve when you don't actively help because you would rather bemoan me when I screw up.

I cannot be a better person when you constantly remind me you believe I will never be.

You may continue to think I am as tiresome, malicious, and immature as ever. That's fine, but I will not stay long enough to passive-aggressively receive it from you. You may sell my secrets to your new friends. You may even let them read this and mock me together over coffee. I don't care anymore. Hopefully it can buy you their transparent friendship.

I'm sorry if I ever failed you. As much as our last years have disappointed me this was still difficult to finally say because it really feels like I've lost a sibling.

I'd be lying if I said, "I will always love you" because at some point you stop loving the people who hurt you. And I wish I could say "We can still be friends!" but this isn't that kind of break-up.

Despite this, I hope you know I sincerely wish you happiness.

I hope you can learn to laugh again around people you don't secretly detest. I hope you can find joy in your heart without having your hands dig for sorrow. I hope you befriend people who will cherish you without having to whisper bitterly about you. I hope your mother quits comparing you to others because we both know there is a goodness in you most people can not bring themselves to exercise.

Perhaps one day we'll stumble into each other's lives and become genuine friends again. For now, all I know is I cannot continue to healthily grow as a person while I'm with you.

May the next chapters of your life allow you to blossom.

It's okay if I'm not in it.

A Stranger

How to Resume a Friendship With a Long Lost Friend

Question:

My best friend of 18 years always called me "the sister she never had". We live in the same city and used to talk on the phone at least 5 to 10 times a day and got together frequently. About two years ago she and her husband began divorce proceedings. I tried to be a supportive friend. I read everything I could on divorce, bought her books (divorce as well as inspirational), sent her cards, dropped off little gifts at her house, took her to see her church pastor on a particularly rough day, etc. I truly, in my heart, feel that I was there for her.

About a year ago, my health began to deteriorate due to multiple autoimmune issues, rendering me homebound. About this time, my friend began disconnecting from me. I realized I was always the one calling her. The phone calls were always about her divorce issues, she never got around to asking how I was.

In December I decided to quit calling her. It took three months for us to talk again, and that was only after I sent her an email telling her goodbye and that she didn't owe me any explanations, but that I recognized our friendship was over. She insisted it wasn't and came over to talk. She told me that she had just sort of "shut down" lately and hadn't really been doing anything or talking to other friends (though she later talked about her weekly Bible study she attended, her weekly girl scout meetings she led, etc.) I asked her if she was depressed due to her impending divorce and she adamantly denied that she was. I also asked her if I had done anything and she adamantly denied that as well. She said that we could choose to live in the past or move forward and she wanted to move forward.

I chose to let it go and called here and there to see how she was doing. Again, I realized she hadn't called me once and the conversations continued to focus on her divorce. I have enough sense to let her go, as I realize that I've really been the only one hanging on.

I don't understand what happened and guess I never will. We didn't really involve our husbands in our friendship, so it wasn't a matter of taking sides during the divorce or anything. She experienced her own health crisis in the past (which I was there to support her through), so I don't believe that my health issues made her uncomfortable. I can only surmise that she just grew tired of me, particularly as I was homebound and had little to offer in the way of "giving."

She's my son's godmother and I don't understand how or why she's abandoned my son as well. I no longer want a friendship with her as she's made it very clear that I don't mean anything to her. I'm not foolish enough to put myself through this again. My question is: How do I finally let go? I've detached emotionally, yet feel like I need some sort of resolution in letting go. I'm not sure that involves having any contact with her though. Any ideas? Thank you for your understanding and support,

Answer:

After losing such a long and close friendship, you must feel a terrible sense of betrayal and loss.

You reached out to your ex-friend multiple times and she really let you down, especially given your medical problems. I don't think you can "surmise" what happened, nor would it be productive to do so. Continuing to ruminate about the friendship will only make you more depressed rather than bringing about closure. Instead, try to reframe your thinking to allow for the possibility that it had more to do with her than with you.

Clearly, you can't depend on her for resolution. It would have been great if she had been able to tell you what had happened at the time, but either she didn't want to or she wasn't able to do so. Given these circumstances, you need to bolster your resolve to stay away from a friendship that has turned out to be so hurtful. Moreover, don't allow this emotional entanglement to deter you from reaching out to and engaging with other people.

People change over time, sometimes in dramatic and unexpected ways. In fact, your ex-friend's ex-husband may have experienced feelings similar to yours at the time of the divorce. It's important to recognize that this happens far more often among friends than people realize or are willing to admit.

You may have detached yourself intellectually but you still seem emotionally attached. Hopefully, a tincture of time will help heal your feelings of loss.

My best wishes for your health,
Irene

How to Resume a Friendship With a Long Lost Friend

It can be easy to lose touch over the years with friends, but there are many ways to connect with a long lost friend to consider before giving up. If someone you used to be friends with means a good bit to you, donвЂ™t just eliminate them out of your life forever. Consider these ways to connect with a long lost friend instead. TheyвЂ™re probably hoping to hear from you too!

1. Find out Where They Live

First, before finding ways to connect with a long lost friend, you need to find out where they live if you donвЂ™t already. Do a search on Google, Facebook, or other social media outlets. Chances are youвЂ™ll find them. If not, ask their friends and family, if you have access to them. Let them know your motives are good for trying to contact your old friend, and theyвЂ™ll more than likely give you the info.

2. Write a Letter

If youвЂ™re unsure how theyвЂ™ll respond to you, simply write a letter. Sure you could email, but letters by snail mail are some of the most meaningful and will make the most impact. Writer your friend a letter and let them know whatвЂ™s going on in your life and why youвЂ™d like to reconnect with them.

3. Email

If you canвЂ™t find their address, but have their email address, simply send a quick note via email. It can be longer to explain why youвЂ™re contacting them, or you can keep it brief. Either way, this can be less intimidating than just showing up at their front door, and can help give them some time to respond in a more natural manner than catching them by surprise.

4. Call Them

If youвЂ™re braver and actually have their phone number, just pick up the phone and call them! Tell them you just wanted to say hi and thought it would be nice to catch up. Then, plan a coffee date if you live close, or even just another type of casual get together. If youвЂ™re not close, let them know youвЂ™d like to see them and then work out travel arrangements if they agree.

5. Text Them

Texting would be my last choice when it comes to contact methods, but if this is the only one you feel comfortable with, give it a try. ItвЂ™s less personal, but it can help you at least reach out to them. They might even respond right back and tell you theyвЂ™re glad to hear from you. Besides, thereвЂ™s no harm if they donвЂ™t text back or say no. At least you can say you tried.

6. Visit Them

If your friendship simply dwindled away, and you didnвЂ™t end on bad terms, go visit your long lost friend. Try to aim for a time theyвЂ™re at home and not work, or somewhere that you know youвЂ™ll have time to talk. This way, you wonвЂ™t inconvenience their schedule and you can make the most out of the connection.

7. Facebook

As one last resort, you could of course use one of the biggest social media outlets to reconnect with your friend. Facebook, was in fact created just so college friends could keep in touch with one another. Use Facebook for the reasons it was made for, not just to stalk your ex! Send them a message though, instead of posting on their wall. ItвЂ™s more personal and more than likely, will go over better with them.

Connecting with old friends is important, especially if youвЂ™re trying to repair your relationship with them. If you simply grew apart, remember that your friend might not be the same as they were in the past, but that doesnвЂ™t mean you canвЂ™t be friends now. Just because you grow up doesnвЂ™t mean you have to permanently grow apart. Do you have a tip for connecting with an old long lost friend?

What to Write on a Card for a Long Lost Friend

Source: https://sportsclinictampico.com/life-hack/how-to-resume-a-friendship-with-a-long-lost-friend/

What to Write on a Card for a Long Lost Friend

Resume a Friendship With a Long Lost Friend

Request To Resume Friendship Letter Writing Tips

Request To Resume Friendship Letter Template

Sample Letter

Email Format

Laughter, Tears and Everything in Between

Here are ten friendship tips you can take to keep friends and improve the quality of the friendships that you already have.

Stay in touch

See your friends

Prioritize the friendship

Give gifts

Handle conflict carefully

Connect your friends and your significant other

Agree with your friends (every once in a while)

Use anger sparingly

Be polite with criticism

Treat family with caution

Conclusion

Moving on Emotionally From a Friend

1 Take a leap of faith and make that first move to reconnect.

2 Ask to meet up in person.

3 Address the issue early on in the conversation.

4 Own up to your faults.

5 Find new commonalities.

6 Decide what you both want moving forward.

7 Be patient and keep your expectations in check.

Healing from the loss of a special friendship will take time.

What was the reason your friendship came to an end?

A Gentle Meditation on Letting Go of a Relationship

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1. At the very least, youвЂ™ll experience a hint of nostalgia вЂ" everybody loves nostalgia.

2. ItвЂ™s fascinating to see how our roads diverge over time, taking those that were once close to us to opposite sides of the world.

3. TheyвЂ™ll remind you of the person you once were and will allow you to better judge the person you have become.

4. It may convince you that you knew how to find real friends better when you were younger than you do now.

5. On the other hand, you may realize that your judgment has improved significantly with time.

6. ItвЂ™s not unthinkable that you may reconnect and continue the friendship.

7. Friends are a fundamental part of our lives вЂ" there should be a reason for either letting them go or keeping them around.

This is the goodbye I never had the courage to tell you. No, – the shame, the desire. After all, what are farewells but another way of saying "This is your fault"?

What separates self-love from selfish? Where is the line drawn? Is it the crease between your lips?

Where there lingers nothing but apology; No, – bitterness, nostalgia. For what is the end but another beginning? This one free of you. Bared teeth, mouth wide open.

What separates friendship from envy? Love from anxiety? Is it the slit between my legs? The pebbles skirting my feet? The plane tickets without your name?

This is the fall-out I never had the will to fight. No, – the excuse, the silence.

best friends never talk bad behind your back no matter how bad shit gets.

I cannot be a better person when you constantly remind me you believe I will never be.

1. Find out Where They Live

2. Write a Letter

This is the goodbye I never had the courage to tell you.
No, – the shame, the desire. After all,
what are farewells but another way of saying
"This is your fault"?

What separates self-love from
selfish? Where is the line drawn?
Is it the crease between your lips?

Where there lingers nothing but apology;
No, – bitterness, nostalgia. For what is the end
but another beginning? This one free
of you. Bared teeth, mouth wide open.

What separates friendship from
envy? Love from anxiety?
Is it the slit between my legs?
The pebbles skirting my feet?
The plane tickets without your name?

This is the fall-out I never had the will to fight.
No, – the excuse, the silence.